Raising LGBTQ Allies

"[A] powerful treatise on creating a more accepting world." Publishers Weekly, Starred Review

No matter who we are or where we come from, we all play on the same playground. There are certain collective societal messages we hear growing up that we either consciously or subconsciously believe. As a result, we develop certain belief systems from which we operate our lives.

Raising LGBTQ Allies sheds light on the deeper, multi-faceted layers of homophobia. It opens up a conversation with parents around the possibility they may have an LGBTQ child, and shows how heteronormativity can be harmful if not addressed clearly and early. Although not every parent will have an LGBTQ child, their child will jump rope or play tag with a child who is LGBTQ.

By showing readers the importance of having open and authentic conversations with children at a young age, Chris Tompkins walks parents through the many ways they can prevent new generations from adopting homophobic and transphobic beliefs, while helping them explore their own subconscious biases.

Offering specific actions parents, family members, and caregivers can take to help navigate conversations, address heteronormativity, and challenge societal beliefs, Raising LGBTQ Allies serves as a guide to help normalize being LGBTQ from a young age. Creating allies and a world where closets don?t exist happens one child at a time. And it begins with each of us and what we say, as much as what we choose not to say.

Tompkins, a spiritual life coach and TEDx speaker, debuts with a thoughtful guide to creating LGBTQ allies with ?open and authentic conversations within families and classrooms.? Using the metaphor of a playground for society-at-large, Tompkins asks parents and teachers to join together and recognize their biases, shift the conversations around gender and relationships, and talk openly about homophobia, transphobia, and bullying. Then, he offers concrete steps for ways to ?build new playgrounds for all children.? When dealing with a child who is a bully, for example, he recommends a process of acknowledging their behavior, challenging their negative messages, and helping them forgive themselves. He encourages incorporating same-sex couple examples in lessons and conversations, stocking classrooms with LGBTQ-affirming books and resources, and having open, vulnerable conversations with children that involve asking questions about their relationships and interests. Along the way, Tompkins writes movingly of his closeted teen years, history of substance abuse, and how he made peace with who he is, adding a trenchant personal framework to the well-reasoned advice. Complete with discussion questions, meditations, and practical actions, this guide is a powerful treatise on creating a more accepting world.